You vacation your way and I'll vacation mine.

"Have you ever even been there, Traci?"

"No. And as far as I am concerned the only real place of magic and excitement is South Beach or NYC during Christmas."

"Well, one day you are bound to have to go, you have kids. And they aren't getting any younger. Before you know it you will be ready to go and they will be too old and not interested."

"Rats. What ever will I do with myself if I never make it to an overly crowded THEME PARK?! What with all those rides and shitty food kiosks and 3000% marked up souvenir shops. Which might I ad they have an entire store in every shopping mall stocked with the exact same shit."

"But, Trac-"

"And might I add, that same place of wonder and excitement is crowded and you have to wait in LINES?!"

"I just think that maybe you should think about it."

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This is not an uncommon conversation to have held with me. This one was shared with me and my BFF Jackie. I will hop up on my soap box any God given moment to share with you my thoughts and feelings on Amusement parks. And Disney to boot. I don't digg theme parks. I don't care for thrill rides and I most.certainly.don't.care.for.lines. Ever of any kind. Ever notice you never wait in line at Nordstroms or Saks? Because these are quality establishments. McDonalds? Lines. Libby Loo? Lines. Gas stations? Lines. And they all suck. Crowds? Yuk. Souvenir shops with craptacular crap that I will more than likely have to throw away or will break and end up breaking my kids heart? No thanks. I put up with our annual trips to Hershey Park and while in Ohio, Cedar Point. I have a great time while with my family and enjoying their thrill of said rides, nasty food and walking several million miles through crowds.

What? That wasn't believable? Sorry.

I will back up-til the cows come home-my love for all things Schlitterbahn, because if you turn to the Travel Channel, close to spring they do this bit on the best Theme Parks, and it is always #1 for water parks. Y'know why? No lines. Unless you go over to Blastenhoff where those crazy lines are, and that's where I won't be.

But that's a side note.

I just can't wrap my head around why it is my duty as a parent to tromp through these beastial establishments. If I have a spare 3-10 G's laying around why in God's Earth would I take my kids through hell when for the same money I can take us to Europe? Or this amazing Eco Friendly resort in Costa Rica. Where instead of coming home with tzotchkes you come home with awareness of your carbon footprint and why this tree frog will help you find peace in the world. Or to Atlantis, Paradise-Hamburgers-are-14-trillion-dollars-Island? Why not take my kids to real castles. Why not take my kids some place where they can use the 500 or so words they know in French, Greek or Spanish? And now for Missy B, Latin. Why not take they some place they need a passport for? How exciting is that to talk about with your friends?

"What? You rode the tea cups and ate breakfast with Belle? So what, I did too for like 4 Thanksgivings in a row."

Okay, okay. I know I am bashing hard on Dinsey. And Walt, I am sorry. I am sure you made a mecca of a place. It's not just that one though. It's all of them.

I am not saying my kids won't ever experience 'The magic and wonder of Disney' I am just saying I won't be with them for it. The cards are on the table. If my mom, dad or sister chose to make a trip, I will willingly pay for admission and hotel stays.