I'm Interviewing, Again.

A few times a year I get overwhelmed with my 'jobs'. You know, answering emails, phone calls, shopping for ungrateful children. Not mine, of course.

And like a great friend once said:

"I'm not High Maintenance, I am Self Maintaining!"

Instead of just complaining or asking Mr.T to help, I solve problems independently, just like I was taught to do. And partly because he really gets irritated when I call in the midst of conference calls while he is out of the country to complain that the housekeeper didn't wipe the shelves of 'fridge down.

See? I am also a quick learner.

Being bogged down with a too many emails regarding school parties, girl scout outings, basketball practices, and Brazilian appointments, I called a local temp agency to interview for some part time help. It went like this:

"Hi, this is Traci. I am looking for some administrative* help in my home."

*that is the latest PC term for secretary. I learned this also from Mr.T when I asked what his 'secretaries' looked like, you know the ones working for him out of the country that I have never met. He explained that they do not prefer that term and prefer 'administrative assistants'. I said and I prefer to be called 'rich and debonair'.

Temp Place: "What are your needs and requirements? Words per minute typed, filing, stocking supply closets, etc.?"

Me: "Uh, well actually I just need someone to answer emails for me. You see, I have had a few too many roll in and I am bored going-I mean entirely too busy to archive and find them. No closets to stock, no filing needed. I don't even need my coffee brought up to my bedroo-I mean, office."

"So...let me make sure I am clear. You have some emails that need responding to."

"Right." Jeez, like nobody ever asked this before?

"OK, well, I have a really smart, young professional for you. How many hours per day and how many days are you thinking?"

Then I hung up because A) like they would admit if the temp was a serial killer and B)I should really just dig through my emails myself and respond that Yes, I'd love to cash my 400 trillion dollar check from the Saudi government, love to join f uckbook as well as trade an ad spot for a platinum ring.